Thursday, November 22, 2012

Our Sweet Bella

 Let me just be honest and say today sucked!
 It. Totally. Sucked.
I had a pretty big agenda today and of course was feeling really excited about Thanksgiving tomorrow and the upcoming weekend.
 The weather was beautiful so I kept the front door open and let the kids play in the garage and the carport while I cleaned. 
We were waiting on Brandy, a friend of my cousins, to come and pick up a train table I had for sale. This was the first time we would meet.
When she got here, the kids and I walked out to her van with her to load the table and we continued to stand there and talk for a while. 
Quickly, I saw the UPS truck coming past our house. The sound of that truck is so familiar to me that I barely even recognize it anymore.
Now, as I sit here, I could care less if I ever hear it again. 
I don't know what it was with Bella and that truck but she hated it. 
She wasn't one to chase cars or bother people, but she hated that truck and she was very protective. 
I guess she felt like she needed to protect us this particular time because she didn't even let up when I yelled at her to stop.
Our Bella wasn't so lucky when she reached it.
Thankfully she didn't suffer, and it killed her instantly. 
My heart is deeply hurting right now. She was a part of our family and such a great dog. I wish I didn't have to see that...and my poor kids. How do you make them understand something like that? 
For a while after, my neighbor Pam, took the kids over to her house to play and take their minds off of everything. It was a huge help!
I know that God intended Brandy to be there at that time because she was also a huge help! It's crazy how someone that you've just met can be so compassionate and caring to someone they don't even know. I learned a lot about her today and she is truly a wonderful genuine person. That is so hard to come by these days. I have a feeling that we'll be great friends.

I strongly believe that everything happens for a reason. This was God's will. I am soo Thankful that it wasn't something worse. 
Something good will eventually come out of this. 

The kids are having a really hard time with it right now.
 Jaycelyn has been crying all afternoon and talking about her non stop.
Noah doesn't really understand like Jaycelyn does. He doesn't understand that she's not coming back.
He'll say she's in heaven one minute and ask where she is the next. Then he tells me to wipe the blood off of her and make her stay in the house so she can't get ran over again. Poor baby :( 
Some people may think that it's a little too early for them to be told about death, but in this situation I didn't really have a choice, but I'm also kind of glad. Even though they can't understand to the the full extent right now, I hope that it instills something in them that I try to make them understand on a daily basis. Like, not going near the road, and how dangerous parking lots or moving cars are, or staying right beside me in the store. I don't want them to be full of fear, but to know that there can be serious consequences for not listening and that we tell them these things because we love them and want to protect them.

 This was one of my devotionals today. I get them on my phone twice daily and I love them because I feel like they relate to my situation or what I'm going through every single day.

For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven. Ecclesiastes 3:1
Sometimes bad things happen to good people. But how do you make peace with this thought, especially when you are fighting back anger, hurt, betrayal, or loneliness? It's important to realize that God has perfect timing, even when we can't understand it. Without placing your faith in His timing, you leave room for resentment, despair, and rebellion. When you can't see the work God is doing through tragedy, remain faithful in knowing God's timing is perfect. 

 In the meantime, I will trust in God and lean on him for peace and understanding.

Bella sure was a wonderful part of our family and she will be greatly missed.

There are so many things we all will miss about her but here are a few I will definitely miss:
 Tagging along with us in the kids bedrooms while we tuck them in and put them to bed, talking to me when she needed me to pay attention to something or feed her, her thinking she's a 5lb lap dog, rides in the car, helping me clean up after the kids when they eat, snoring so loud that you can't hear the tv, her big beautiful brown eyes, her love and patience for my kids, and her loyalty to our family.

R.I.P. Sweet Girl

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