Sunday, April 22, 2012

The not so joys of motherhood!

WARNING: Contents may not be suitable for people with weak stomachs!

There are many wonderful, rewarding, accomplishing things about being a parent. There are also ups and downs like anything else such as a job, marriage, and just life in general. I would say that one of the downsides of being a parent, mom in my case, is all the dirty work. Actually, dirty is just the polite way of saying it. I'm really talking about just plain nastiness.
I'm not saying this to try and scare you or change your mind about becoming a parent, because it is absolutely a blessing in so many ways...BUT it's not always cute little smiles and picture perfect days. Not in my house anyway! We can all imagine all of the wonderful, cute, sweet things about parenthood on our own, like our baby's firsts, vacations, play dates, dress up, birthdays, etc.  But we don't really think about some of the yucky things we have to face because they really aren't talked about until we experience them. I've only been a mom for 3.5 years so I'm sure I'm in for much more but here are a few that have been real fun for me so far!

 My favorite one is Poop! Just pretend you can hear the sarcasm in my voice! This one I've had to deal with the most. I think that we are all aware that our children are going to poop. As a matter of fact, they start the second they are born. When my oldest two were in diapers, I can't even count how many times they had major blowouts. Like poop all the way up to your neck kind of blowouts.
Then there's the times when I would go to get them out of bed and it looked like a murder scene and someone had been stabbed to death with a turd. Everything in the room had to be wiped down, child bathed, and I gagged the whole time.
Or for a few days, every time I brushed my teeth and kept smelling something awful, thinking my breath had been rank for some reason lately or looking around every time saying, "What is that smell!?!", only to finally discover a doo doo ball in my sink drain and Noah's explanation was that he was trying to wash it!
 I'll never forget the time when someone came over and Noah tried to hand them a turd that he dug out of his diaper or when he swallowed 6 cents and I was suppose had to dig through his poop until he passed it.
I won't even get into how nasty I have felt when potty training. It might only be a couple days with accidents but I literally felt like my mop had turned into a toilet.
 And personally none of mine have pooped in the bathtub but I know a lot of parents that have experienced it like someone I know who you are....pooping in the tub and using someones shampoo bottle to mash in down the MY shampoo bottle!  

Next up is the infamous, Boogers! It seems like every kid goes through that stage when they start picking their nose and eating...YES eating their boogers! Thankfully mine do not constantly keep their fingers up their noses but they have been known to do it and eat as well as wipe their boogers and snot all over everything. What's even nicer is when they have a runny nose and you're doing everything you can to keep their noses wiped but they would rather eat their snot instead.

And the last and my oh so favorite is Puke! Ahh the joy of that wonderful smell that can linger for months after scrubbing and cleaning. This is the #1 most disgusting in my book. I can actually say that I would rather clean poop all day then have to clean up throw up. Cleaning a puke covered car seat is the worst thing ever! It gets in every crack and crevice and the smell is horrid! Especially when you're on a road trip and the only thing you have is a gas station bathroom, paper towels, and one of those wall dryers. Oh, and heads up to those of you with TVs on the back of the seats. When puke hits those speakers you're in for some fun! :)

 Of course there's more things that kids do that are gross on a daily basis like licking the shopping carts or anything else for that matter, like your face. They put their hands in their pants, let the dog lick all over their mouths, they eat food off of the floor, burp, sneeze, cough, and everything else right in your face.....You get the point.
Basically I'm just a turd wrangler giving you a sneak peek of my real life mommy role! Let's be honest though, kids are gross, they can make us furious at the time but we can laugh about it later because the good usually out weighs the bad. We still love them and we do what we have to do! Kids will be kids and accidents happen but I try my best to teach mine to keep their germs to themselves!

What are some of your "oh so favorite" mommy moments? :)


  1. I hear you on the poop...our latest battle has been my 19 month old undressing each time we put her down and then pooping in her crib and playing with it! GROSS. I actually had a blog post going up about this and our solution thus far later this week! I need help if you have anything that has worked for you!!

  2. Some people put their babies diaper on backwards at night. It seems to help until they figure it out.Babies are worth every bit of the nastiness :)



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